Two year-old Sally was playing with her daddy. Propped on her daddy’s jiggling knees, Sally was convulsing in laughter when an itch wrinkled her nose and had her sneezing point blank into daddy’s face.
The sickeningly cold spray of mucus and spittle probably felt like a blast from the fire hose. It’s bad enough on the arm but it’s cataclysmic on the face because the facial epidermis contains the highest concentration of touch receptors on our body and worse if you’ve got your mouth open.
My point? The sneeze must’ve been so fast, so furious, and so awful that made daddy carelessly utter, “What the–!”
Daddy reined in his tongue in the nick of time. But if the child was any older – say a seven or eight year-old, she could’ve snared you, “I know what you’re gonna say, dad.” Fortunately, little Sally was the purest little darling, and she responded in a way none of us would’ve expected.
She chortled her amusement at Daddy’s disgust and cackled, “Wa – ter!”
Daddy goggled at the response as Sally, her large, liquid eyes twinkling with mischief, mimed another sneeze and screamed, “Wa – ter!”
Daddy’s taut expression eased. The pain of his guilt assuaged. He was laughing at the humour in Sally’s response as much as to the relief it brought.
True story, and I thank a friend for sharing it.
Daddy’s response might have been habitual, a reflex, an amusing, careless belch of words…and it could’ve also been a disaster.
A study by Dr. Timothy Jay – an American psychologist, revealed that kids between one and twelve pick up bad language from all over the place and it rightly pointed out there’s really little we could do to shield them – to an extent.
The study found out that between the ages of one and two, boys would’ve picked up an average of six taboo words and girls, eight. And by the age of six, children would’ve developed a broad vocabulary of swear words.
Take comfort that perhaps our society isn’t as imaginative as the U.S. when it comes to the repertoire of swear words. Singaporean kids might fare a little better but are still as susceptible because it takes no more than a single swear word uttered to drive home the entire concept of swearing.
Wondering what's on the Blacklist? The F-word was at the top of it, followed by S**t and OMG. Even Jesus Christ was ranked amongst the top five.
The tragic part of it? Sixty-eight percent of kids surveyed thought “Jesus Christ” had negative connotations.
Apart from the data and statistics, Dr. Jay’s study has to be taken with a large pinch of salt because it went on to suggest that an approach to swearing would be to educate kids on the context of swear words, and that swearing “appropriately” might be beneficial in expressing emotions.
I trust few parents would subscribe to that. But you’ll never know…
It is still a very human affair to utter “gosh!” when the unexpected happens and “ouch!” when one hears something worthy of a wince. Could such expressions explain the urge to swear? Possibly. They might even replace swearing as a healthier alternative.
But I reckon the crux of it all lies in the art of speech and expression. And this in turn depends on the ability of one to rein in one’s tongue; to think before one utters. Or even not at all if there’s no reason to do so.
And the hard truth is that it all has to begin with parents. If we can’t shield our children from bad language all the time, perhaps we could train them in something else…
Restraint…
…and then the art of speaking with it.
It’s excruciatingly difficult. Most of us, myself included, would have to work real hard on it. But I believe it might be our cure to swearing…and much more.
As for adorable little Sally, we were all thankful that no real damage was done. Except she’d be going around chirping “wa – ter!” whenever she sneezes, and leaving everyone charmed and mystified all at once.
"The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered." Proverbs 17:27
Photo credit: Tom Lin via Foter.com